Recently, while attending a social function, I found myself hostage in a group of strangers bragging about their children. They were discussing schools, awards, school of choice programs, sports and extracurricular activities. (I will add that they were the “everyone gets an award for participating” kind of group.) I tried to nod when appropriate while thinking about the latest episode of the show Lucifer. And then it happened…..
‘Michelle,
what sports does your son participate in?’ “He trains various forms of Mixed
Martial Arts.” ‘Wait, he fights?’ “He trains to fight sometimes, but he takes classes in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, Kickboxing, MMA and he's trained in American
Karate.” (Wait for it…..) ‘I mean no disrespect, BUT don’t you encourage him to
do non-violent things? Does he get into trouble at school? He doesn't participate in any real sports?’ (Insert looks of disgust here) I will admit that I thought about the punches I had watched him learn that week
and wondered if I could properly execute them at that very moment. Were they kidding?
Unfortunately, they were not.
“Actually,
he is not a troubled child at all. He’s never been in trouble at school. He is
in the gifted program, as well as the talented art program, and has a 4.0GPA.
He’s very polite and respectful. He's played basketball on a team that won the district championship. I encourage him to do whatever he loves. Honestly, I
wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t stood up for or defended your children a
time or two. By the way...what sport is more REAL than it??" (silence....)
I walked
away from that conversation dumbfounded. I’ve thought a lot about the questions
they asked and the assumptions they made.
When my son
was eight years old he was beat up, at school, by two boys a few years older
than him and four times his size. He didn’t fight back because he was afraid
and he was afraid to get into trouble at school. His physical injuries healed
fast, but I could see what was going on inside of him. He was angry. A few days
later I got a call from the school that he had carried a sharpened pencil out
to the playground. When he was questioned about this he told them that it was
to protect himself. I was horrified. I realized how many ways this could have
gone wrong. I knew that I needed him to know how to properly defend himself. (I'm sure he won't be too happy with me for sharing that story, but it is what led him to training.)
I reached
out to Steve Miller, who owns the very reputable
Louisiana Blackbelt Academy in Morgan City, and enrolled in Gracie Jiu Jitsu and American Karate. That was one of the
best decisions I have ever made. He became a part of their family. They taught him how to defend himself, but also so much more. They taught
him discipline, control and respect. They held him accountable for his grades
and for the way he conducted himself in and out of the classroom. He fell in
love with MMA and has never looked back.
A few years
later we moved to Lafayette. He was the new kid in town, at a new (huge)
school, he didn’t know anyone and was one of the youngest in a freshman class
of over seven hundred. I could see him trying to find his way and I knew how
important these next years were going to be for him. He started telling me
stories about how he “almost” got into trouble and how he “almost” got in a
fight. It started to seem like the "cool kids" were the ones getting in the most trouble. It was time to find a local gym.
I took him
to Gladiators Academy and met with the owner, Tim Credeur. He signed up for a
three class trial. The minute he stepped on that mat he knew he had found his
place. He has found another
extended family and has formed incredible friendship bonds. He turns to them
for advice and guidance and he is in good hands. They don’t teach him violence.
They teach him physical and mental ways to avoid the teenage violence that is
out of control around us. He trains with boys, girls, men and women. His
teammates consist of people of all ages, races and ethnicities from all walks
of life. They aid in teaching him how to go forth on his own two feet and face
the world.
Yes, he’s
had a bloody nose, a black eye, and a whole bunch of bruises. I trust his coaches and instructors to take care of him. My
daughter has had worse injuries (and inflicted worse injuries) on the
basketball and volleyball court. Gladiators is about 10 miles from our house.
This results in a thirty minute drive each way due to traffic and gives me
thirty minutes a day of quality time with my son on the drive there. The drive
home is much different because his adrenaline is rushing and he talks nonstop as
he gives me the play by play of class. His passion and excitement make my soul
smile. When we return home he studies and gets his homework done. It
only took me one time to let him know that if his grades went down he would
have to miss class. I’ve never had to repeat that again. He only misses classes
if he has school projects to do.
Mixed
Martial Arts has played a special role in helping me raise an amazing young
man. It has taught him the value of hard work, discipline, dedication,
determination, respect and camaraderie. It has boosted his self- confidence. Confident
people often make better decisions and aren’t easily influenced. It keeps him
active and focused. He isn’t sitting in front of the television or latest
gaming system. Training with the “older guys” keeps him humble. He’s learned
conflict resolution and doesn’t feel the need to “prove himself” outside of the
gym. He’s not out at parties or getting in trouble. He's either in the gym, in the garage with his
punching bag or resting to be prepared for his next class. As a parent, it is very comforting to know that I don't have to worry about him turning to violence to defend himself.
I am forever thankful to each and every person
who has played an active role in his Mixed Martial Arts journey. You help make
my role -as the mother of a fifteen year old young man- a much easier one.
Thank you for welcoming him into your families and for helping to guide him to
be the best young man he can be! Until next time....Michelle
P.S. He's also gotten to meet some really cool guys that have given him some great advice and encouragement.
