How did I handle watching my son's first fight?

“How did you handle watching your son fight for the first time?”…. I’ve been asked that a lot lately. I'm going to do my best to explain it.

Let me start with a brief introduction. I am the mother of a 6’3”, smart, talented, stubborn, goofy, cool (or so he thinks), sixteen year old young man. He trains in multiple styles of mixed martial arts at Gladiators Academy of Lafayette. His name is Tyler. I’ve written before about how and why he started training and about the positive impacts it has on his life.

In November one of his coaches asked him to fight at Houston Muay Thai on December 9th. I feel it is important to note here that these fights have different rules and the fighters wear protective gear. He was more excited than I’d ever seen. I noticed that he started eating much cleaner, training even harder than before and studying videos of his favorite fighters every chance he had. What was I thinking at this point? This is what he’s been training for. I watch him prepare for this every day.

Fast forward and December 9^th is here. We have arrived in Houston and Tyler is being his normal, goofy self. He’s riding on the luggage cart of the hotel, hiding around corners and trying to scare people as they walk by. You would never guess that he was about to face his first opponent.

We walk to the gym, he weighs in, looks around, buys some shorts, eats (yes-he ate 1.5 hours before the fight) and goes through all the pre-fight routine stuff. I look around at everyone there-the fighters, the coaches, the parents, our teammates and friends. Everyone is laughing and joking. It seems just like any other day in the gym.

AND THEN…..

They announce that he is the first fight. I look at him and I see his expression change for a split second. Mom mode kicks in. I'm not ready for this! Is he ready? What am I thinking letting my baby go in there and fight? What kind of mother is ok with this? Am I supposed to say let’s go home? Does he really want to do this? Every injury I’ve ever seen in MMA goes flashing through my mind. In a few minutes he is going to be standing across from a person who has the intention of hurting him just enough that he can’t hurt him first.  My hands are shaking.  I have no idea if I’m going to throw up or pee on myself.  I still feel those exact things as I type this.

They call his name (my heart is racing), we make eye contact and he winks. That may have been the most calming wink in the world. I smiled. (He told me later that at that moment he was thinking “what am I really doing here?” until he saw me calm and smiling. If he only knew!!) I look at Coach Jon and he looks calm. Professor Tim messages me (as if he could feel my nervous energy) and says "he will be fine, relax, he is in good hands".

He steps into the ring and something happened instantly. It was like an alter ego took the place of my baby boy. His shoulders got wider, his eyebrows lowered and his breathing calmed.  It didn’t look like this was his first time. What was I thinking at this point? Who is this kid and where is my baby?? Is this really about to happen?

It was go time. He walked across the ring and struck first.  I videoed the first round. Looking at it through my phone made it seem “not so real” if that makes any sense. He did a great job and was very impressive. 

The alter ego disappeared and there was my baby. He hugged his opponent and thanked him for the fight. The smile on his face was priceless. I could see his emotions. The mom in me was thankful that it was over. (I remember thinking that I was happy that he still had all of his teeth, his nose was still straight and that his face looked fine. ) The fighter and competitor in me was on an adrenaline high. It was at this moment that I realized I had been holding my breath the entire time.  I had just witnessed my baby boy live out the beginning of his dreams. I couldn't wait to hug him. "You did it kid. I'm so proud of you. How do you feel?" "Mom, that was the greatest feeling in the world. I can't wait to do that again. Oh and my legs are going to hurt tomorrow I'm pretty sure I broke my toe."

Is it hard to watch him punch someone else? Yes, it is. Is it hard to watch him get punched? (That depends if he’s been an asshole that day – kidding, well kind of.) Of course it is. Does he like to get punched? No, that’s why he trains to avoid it. With every punch, every kick, every leg lock, armbar, black eye and broken toe (this list will just continue to grow) – he is doing what he loves. As his mother, it is a wonderful feeling to see your child put in the hard work to make his dreams come true. I am so proud of him.

 

AND THEN I HAD A GLASS (OR TWO OR MAYBE THE WHOLE BOTTLE) OF WINE….THE END!! Until the next time!!

NOTES: A lot of people have told me that they don’t like MMA fights and they aren’t sure if they could ever go and WATCH him fight.  MMA fights definitely aren’t for everyone – I get that. I understand a person not wanting to WATCH. HOWEVER – support the person who does love it. Be present. Go to show your support even if you cover your eyes the entire time. It's about unconditional support.

If you happen to be in the Lafayette area go check out Gladiators Academy. There is something there for everyone and you will meet some really cool people. If you happen to be in the Houston area go check out Houston Muay Thai. It is a great place, great atmosphere and great people. If you happen to break your toe or need medical attention in Lafayette - go let the people at Minute Med take care of you. And if you happen to be hungry in Lafayette -go eat at Deano's and tell Tyler hi - he works in the kitchen on the weekends and the food is amazing.

I am thankful for every coach and every teammate that trains with him and pushes him to be better each day. Without each one of you he couldn't do what he loves (and he'd have a lot more bumps and bruises).

How could you let your son train Mixed Martial Arts??

Recently, while attending a social function, I found myself hostage in a group of strangers bragging about their children. They were discussing schools, awards, school of choice programs, sports and extracurricular activities. (I will add that they were the “everyone gets an award for participating” kind of group.) I tried to nod when appropriate while thinking about the latest episode of the show Lucifer. And then it happened…..

‘Michelle, what sports does your son participate in?’ “He trains various forms of Mixed Martial Arts.” ‘Wait, he fights?’ “He trains to fight sometimes, but he takes classes in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, Kickboxing, MMA and he's trained in American Karate.” (Wait for it…..) ‘I mean no disrespect, BUT don’t you encourage him to do non-violent things? Does he get into trouble at school? He doesn't participate in any real sports?’ (Insert looks of disgust here) I will admit that I thought about the punches I had watched him learn that week and wondered if I could properly execute them at that very moment. Were they kidding? Unfortunately, they were not.

“Actually, he is not a troubled child at all. He’s never been in trouble at school. He is in the gifted program, as well as the talented art program, and has a 4.0GPA. He’s very polite and respectful. He's played basketball on a team that won the district championship. I encourage him to do whatever he loves. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t stood up for or defended your children a time or two.  By the way...what sport is more REAL than it??"   (silence....)

I walked away from that conversation dumbfounded. I’ve thought a lot about the questions they asked and the assumptions they made.

When my son was eight years old he was beat up, at school, by two boys a few years older than him and four times his size. He didn’t fight back because he was afraid and he was afraid to get into trouble at school. His physical injuries healed fast, but I could see what was going on inside of him. He was angry. A few days later I got a call from the school that he had carried a sharpened pencil out to the playground. When he was questioned about this he told them that it was to protect himself. I was horrified. I realized how many ways this could have gone wrong. I knew that I needed him to know how to properly defend himself. (I'm sure he won't be too happy with me for sharing that story, but it is what led him to training.)

I reached out to Steve Miller, who owns the very reputable Louisiana Blackbelt Academy in Morgan City, and enrolled in Gracie Jiu Jitsu and American Karate. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. He became a part of their family.  They taught him how to defend himself, but also so much more. They taught him discipline, control and respect. They held him accountable for his grades and for the way he conducted himself in and out of the classroom. He fell in love with MMA and has never looked back.

A few years later we moved to Lafayette. He was the new kid in town, at a new (huge) school, he didn’t know anyone and was one of the youngest in a freshman class of over seven hundred. I could see him trying to find his way and I knew how important these next years were going to be for him. He started telling me stories about how he “almost” got into trouble and how he “almost” got in a fight. It started to seem like the "cool kids" were the ones getting in the most trouble. It was time to find a local gym.

I took him to Gladiators Academy and met with the owner, Tim Credeur. He signed up for a three class trial. The minute he stepped on that mat he knew he had found his place. He has found another extended family and has formed incredible friendship bonds. He turns to them for advice and guidance and he is in good hands. They don’t teach him violence. They teach him physical and mental ways to avoid the teenage violence that is out of control around us. He trains with boys, girls, men and women. His teammates consist of people of all ages, races and ethnicities from all walks of life. They aid in teaching him how to go forth on his own two feet and face the world.

Yes, he’s had a bloody nose, a black eye, and a whole bunch of bruises.  I trust his coaches and instructors to take care of him. My daughter has had worse injuries (and inflicted worse injuries) on the basketball and volleyball court. Gladiators is about 10 miles from our house. This results in a thirty minute drive each way due to traffic and gives me thirty minutes a day of quality time with my son on the drive there. The drive home is much different because his adrenaline is rushing and he talks nonstop as he gives me the play by play of class. His passion and excitement make my soul smile. When we return home he studies and gets his homework done. It only took me one time to let him know that if his grades went down he would have to miss class. I’ve never had to repeat that again. He only misses classes if he has school projects to do.

Mixed Martial Arts has played a special role in helping me raise an amazing young man. It has taught him the value of hard work, discipline, dedication, determination, respect and camaraderie. It has boosted his self- confidence. Confident people often make better decisions and aren’t easily influenced. It keeps him active and focused. He isn’t sitting in front of the television or latest gaming system. Training with the “older guys” keeps him humble. He’s learned conflict resolution and doesn’t feel the need to “prove himself” outside of the gym. He’s not out at parties or getting in trouble. He's either in the gym, in the garage with his punching bag or resting to be prepared for his next class. As a parent, it is very comforting to know that I don't have to worry about him turning to violence to defend himself.

I am forever thankful to each and every person who has played an active role in his Mixed Martial Arts journey. You help make my role -as the mother of a fifteen year old young man- a much easier one. Thank you for welcoming him into your families and for helping to guide him to be the best young man he can be!

Until next time....Michelle

P.S. He's also gotten to meet some really cool guys that have given him some great advice and encouragement.